Meghan Markle, Prince Harry, Kate Middleton, and Prince William aren’t actually feuding, despite all the crazy rumors. As sources have explained recently, they’re simply on “different paths.” Still, one insider tells People this week that all the rivalry gossip has afected both Middleton and Markle; they reportedly find being pitted against each “challenging.”

The source echoes a lot of what has been previously said of the two families simply wanting to carry out their separate engagements. “Meghan is very aware that Kate will be Queen; their roles are very clear,” the source says, adding “What’s challenging is when they are pitted against each other. That’s been challenging to both of them. Meghan has her life, Kate has hers.”

The two have been friendly toward one another and have hung out on multiple occasions. They might not be intimately close, but the source notes they simply came into the family from very different places. Markle, the source points out, was a “fully-formed person” who had been working for years when she married Prince Harry. Middleton started dating Prince William in college and had years to cultivate her role. That has meant their approach to public life is specific to their background.

“William and Kate toe the line, maybe because they have to, but Harry and Meghan are saying no—no to releasing the names of Archie’s godparents, no to saying where Meghan gave birth,” the source said. “They are trying to carve out a different sort of public life and reset the rules.”

Katie Nicholl, a royals expert, told Glamour a few months back that rumors of a feud between Kate Middleton and Meghan Markle were exaggerated. “I do know that Meghan and Kate have come to an agreement to get along, to make an effort, to be amiable and warm toward each other in public,” she said.

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