How can you get that kind of support from your boss? Should you bring up your mental health condition at all? We asked the experts how to tackle these toughies, whether you need a long lunch for a weekly therapy appointment or a leave of absence for more intensive care.

1. Test the waters
What will my coworkers think? Will my boss judge me differently? Will it hurt my career? Those are all valid questions, says Theresa Nguyen, vice president of policy and programs at Mental Health America: “Even though everyone has rights to accommodations, the reality is that asking for them is scary.” You can check the company handbook or website for any official policies. If you feel comfortable with your direct supervisor, it’s ideal to speak with her first, says Tanisha Ranger, a Nevada-based psychologist who has helped many clients broach the topic of mental health with their employers. Start by testing the waters, asking general questions such as, “If I have a recurring doctor’s appointment during the work day, how do you want me to handle that?” Her response can be a good indicator of whether or not she’ll be open to giving you some flexibility. Once you’re ready to talk to your boss about your specific situation, schedule some time to speak privately.

2. Do your homework
Before you have a more private meeting, do some due diligence—it’s important to walk into your boss’s office as prepared as possible and offer a plan that you’ve discussed with your therapist, Ranger says, rather than just unloading your diagnosis and waiting for your boss to provide the solutions. It helps to provide a list of requested accommodations and explain how each will help you perform to your potential.

In other words, you want to present your boss with a solution, not a problem. So explain how your mental illness may affect your work and how specific accommodations will allow you to perform to the best of your ability. For example, if you deal with PTSD and sometimes struggle with concentration, detail how working from home where you can control your environment could help you stay on course.

3. Be open to their suggestions
Employees have a right to “reasonable accommodations” but it’s ultimately up to employers to determine what reasonable means. Your boss may not immediately agree to all your requests, so be open to working together to finding creative solutions that will work for both you and your employer.

If an accommodation is minor, such as taking a long lunch once a week for a therapy appointment, a brief conversation with your boss will often suffice. But for bigger accommodations that will more drastically change your schedule, be prepared to work with HR too.

4. Know when to involve HR
If you don’t have a good relationship with your supervisor or you’ve tested the waters and gotten the impression that she won’t be understanding, you can opt to go directly to human resources to discuss your situation.

This is often a more discreet option, since they can’t legally share the reason for your medical accommodations if you don’t want them to, says Jessica Methot, Ph.D., an associate professor at the Rutgers School of Management and Labor Relations. “This information is confidential explicitly because supervisors cannot be given information that can be used to discriminate against employees,” she says. “In this case, you would be protected under the Americans with Disabilities Act.” This means that even if you need to take a leave of absence, your boss doesn’t need to know why—you can work with your doctor and your HR team to fill out the appropriate Family Medical Leave Act (FMLA) paperwork. “All you need to tell your boss is that you have a medical condition and you’ve completed the FMLA paperwork with HR,” Ranger says.

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