During her first solo date with Colton Underwood on tonight’s episode of The Bachelor, Caelynn Miller-Keyes opens up about being sexually assaulted in college. “It’s the most difficult thing in the world,” she tells him during their conversation. “It’s affected every single person in my life. It’s so painful.”

In an interview with People published before the episode aired, Caelynn said, “My life was flipped upside down. And even though I’ve moved on, it is something I will struggle with forever.”

The incident, Caelynn tells People, happened at a party during her sophomore year of college after her wine glass was drugged. “I woke up the next morning, and I was completely naked in my bed, and I knew that something bad had happened,” she says. A friend at the party alleged that one of the men there assaulted Caelynn. A second male, according to Caelynn’s other friend, lifted her dress in front of his fraternity brothers. “They watched and laughed and took photos and Snapchats. It was horrible,” Caelynn tells Colton on tonight’s episode.

“These situations happen when you’re safe,” she tells People. “They don’t necessarily happen when you’re walking down a dark alley. It’s when you’re comfortable and when you let your guard down.”

According to Caelynn, a hospital initially told her they wouldn’t do a rape kit unless she filed a police report. “At that point, these were friends of mine and I wasn’t entirely sure what had happened, so I wasn’t positive I wanted to file a police report. But later that night, I did, once I figured out what had really happened,” Caelynn says. “The reporting process is a lot more difficult than people realize. I had no idea what to do. I was completely stranded, I was completely alone. I didn’t even think it was possible to be turned away from a hospital. Thankfully, I had a good support system and people went to a second hospital with me and I was able to get a rape kit and speak to authorities and go through that process. But it’s a lot more difficult than it seems.”

By the time she visited the hospital again, Caelynn says enough time had elapsed that the results were inconclusive. Only one man from the situation was expelled from Caelynn’s college. The others faced no repercussions.

“Even though they got away with it, I’m happy that I still fought,” Caelynn says. “I can live with myself and know that at least I tried and I pushed and I went after justice.”

Bachelor fans—as well as Colton—quickly took to Twitter to commend Caelynn for speaking out. Below, just a few reactions:

Caelynn isn’t revealing the names of the men involved. “I’ve detached myself in a way from the perpetrators because I felt like that was the healthiest thing to do. I don’t want to have to keep reliving it. I was able to forgive the men,” she tells People. “And once you’re able to do that, you’re able to take that power back. I hope they’ve learned from that experience and that they never do it again.”

The Bachelor airs Monday nights at 8 P.M. ET on ABC.

If you’d like to speak to someone about sexual assault, don’t hesitate to reach out to RAINN’s hotline at 800.656.HOPE (4673).

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