I had the most romantic night in bed molding voodoo dolls made from the guts of an exploded dildo with my boyfriend. It was so sweet! His doll even has a hat it can wear. I’m gushing, but the Dodil reminded me that we’re the cutest couple ever, even if we enjoyed ourselves for reasons other than prescribed by the manufacturer.

The Dodil is a dildo that you can mold to your own preferences over and over. The idea behind the product is that you get countless dildos within one, and can mold it to fit your body and mood. Prefer a spiral shape? The Dodil can do it. Interested in twisted tornado penetration? The Dodil’s got you.

I want to clarify that any melting of the Dodil was purely my own fault, and not the fault of the manufacturers. I went rogue with their nice toy and did not follow instructions. This aquamarine pleasure device comes tucked into a thermos with a very detailed instruction booklet. My first thought upon reading the instruction manual was, “This would be a truly depressing night if I were single.” The Dodil makes you work for the dildo shape of your choice. Unlike vibrators (the Dodil doesn’t vibrate) which are more or less instant orgasms right out of the box, you need to take your time with the Dodil. You have to run it a hot bath and then give it some alone time. After that, you have to massage it. And then you have to give it even more alone time. And then, eventually, you can put it inside you. Since I screw up the instructions on Easy Mac, I handed everything over to my partner (who is an excellent chef) and asked if he could “just deal with this.”

After boiling water, you fill up the matching thermos with it (be careful not to burn yourself). Then you plop the Dodil inside the thermos, pour out a little bit of the hot water, and screw on the thermos cap. (The instructions claim that you cannot use the thermos for food or beverage, but it’s so cute I was tempted to—it could theoretically hold a ton of coffee.) After the Dodil is happily relaxing in its bath, it needs to sit there for half an hour. When you take it out the countdown begins, as you have 20 minutes to mold it into whatever shape you like. The toy comes with an orange string that you can use to wrap around the toy and set it to your liking. The Dodil truly puts the “toy” in sex toy. Molding it is fun! It’s like grown-up Play Dough.

Now, the instruction booklet clearly states in step five of the third section: “Do not pull on the Dodil, rather squeeze and stroke, to make the inside material move.” However, it’s really tempting to pull on. When you’re playing with a malleable sex toy, the question “how long can I make this thing?” popped into my head so fast I can only assume it was instinct. I held onto one end; my partner held the other; and we pulled each side, giggling at our dildo tug-of-war.

And that’s when the dildo exploded.

The outer silicone cover burst open with a pop, and the lava-like inner core of (thankfully) nontoxic thermoplastic seeped out. If I had just spent an hour of my time trying to cook myself a dildo I would have been bummed, but my partner was there so it wasn’t exactly a necessity. That’s when we used the goo to make voodoo dolls.

Let me again be clear that it is entirely my fault for not following instructions, and anyone who does follow them could truly have not just one, but multiple orgasmic experiences masturbating with the Dodil.

PHOTO: Dodil

The Dodil in some of its variations (when used correctly)

Upon learning what happened to our Dodil, the company quickly and kindly replaced mine. For my second attempt, I was alone and just boiled it in a pot like spaghetti (the instructions say that’s chill). After it was finished cooking, I pulled it out of the hot water with tongs and sat in my bed with the hot orange string ready to create a dildo fashioned from my imagination. I squeezed (no pulling) and shaped it with the orange string in an effort to create a spiral. When it hardened—it took about an hour or two, but you can speed up this process by dipping it in cool water—mine looked like a strangled tadpole.

In conclusion, I am the wrong person for this toy. My dishes look dirty even after I wash them. My cats have better handwriting than me. Attempts at learning to knit have ended in snapped knitting needles. As such, I need my sex toys to deliver orgasms as quickly as possible with minimal effort, which is why I adore wand vibrators.

And it’s a shame, because the Dodil is multipurpose and has a really wonderful, silky-soft feeling. After it hardens into one shape, you can re-boil the toy and harden it into another for endless possibilities and a reasonable price point of about $95 USD for the whole kit (the company is Swedish, so it’s sold in euros from Dodil’s site).

The Dodil would have a good home with someone who excels at crafts and is patient. For those who suck at making macaroni and cheese and enjoy sex toys that don’t make you work for your orgasm, however, skip this one. Fortunately, even an exploded dildo can create a night of romantic bonding between you and your partner. We had such a good time with the dildo goo that I have nothing but love for this product, even if it fundamentally wasn’t the right fit for me.

More:

—With This Warming Wand Vibrator, Winter Won’t Be the Only Thing Coming

—The 2017 Glamour Sex Toy Awards

—`The 15 Biggest Sex Inventions of the Year

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