Between 10 and 25 percent of pregnancies result in miscarriage—and for a brief period, Kim Kardashian believed hers with North was one of them.

The reality star describes the scare in the upcoming Keeping Up With The Kardashians 10th Anniversary Special. During the pregnancy, she experienced “debilitating” pain in her stomach, she says. On Thanksgiving, she flew to Miami to see her doctor. “I thought I had a miscarriage. I was pretty certain about it,” she recounts. The doctor agreed, saying, “there’s no heartbeat—you had a miscarriage,” but he told her to come back just in case. Thankfully, there was a heartbeat after all.

The whole pregnancy was emotional from beginning to end. After being warned by a doctor that she may have a difficult time, she was terrified to learn she was pregnant. “I remember calling [Kanye] and he thought a family member of mine had died, I was so hysterical,” she says. “I thought my life was over, that I was pregnant and [it was going to be] so hard for me.”

She also experienced a condition called placenta accreta—which prevented her placenta from detaching from her uterus—during both her pregnancies. On her blog, she said that getting the placenta removed was the “most painful experience of my life.”

For her next child, Kim is reportedly bypassing some of these issues by hiring a surrogate. “I can’t carry anymore kids…it’s the worst,” she said on Keeping Up With the Kardashians. “It’s not going to be happy for me.” The surrogate’s identity hasn’t been made public, but Us Weekly recently reported she was already pregnant.

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