Tomorrow marks 20 years since Princess Diana‘s untimely death at 36 years old. During the days following the fatal car crash, Queen Elizabeth II was criticized for appearing detached when she took Prince William, who was 15 at the time, and Prince Harry, who was 12, to a church in Scotland just hours after their father, Prince Charles, told them about their mother’s passing. The nation was also shocked she didn’t rush back to London or appear at any Diana tributes near Buckingham Palace.

Twenty years later, it’s still key to remember that, first, everyone copes with loss differently, and sometimes parents and grandparents need to appear strong to make it easier for the children affected. The queen’s first cousin and close friend Margaret Rhodes confirmed this was the case in an interview with CNN back in 2012, as per Popsugar.

“She was castigated . . . for staying up at Balmoral with the two little boys. She was being a proper granny. What was the point of bringing the boys down to sit in London with nothing to do but sit there feeling sad about mum. Personally, I think I would have behaved in exactly the same way.” So, her choice to come to her grandson’s sides rather than immediately turning to console the nation was rather an easy decision for any grandmother, Queen or not. She was concerned for the children who had just lost their mother.

When it did come time to address the nation about Princess Diana’s death five days later, she did so with, we imagine, the same poise and compassion she shared with her grandchildren. Watch her entire speech below:

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