Kim Kardashian Says Selfies Are Over, So I Guess the Internet's Canceled
Let me take you back to a simpler time: 2015. A time when we didn’t have the threat of nuclear war with North Korea, Fuller House didn’t exist, and Kim Kardashian was all about selfies. That last one is particularly important. Kim loved selfies back then—well, she loved them before that, too. This is a woman who, when faced with the prospect of her sister going to jail, took photos of herself. A woman who announced to the world she’s voting for Hillary Clinton via selfie. A woman who didn’t let an elephant’s rogue trunk get in the way of the perfect photo. She quite literally published a 448-page book about selfies. I’m not kidding. 448 pages. Of just selfies. Called Selfish.
And now that same woman is denouncing the art form she commodified. Yes, my friends, Kim Kardashian just announced that selfies are o-v-e-r. If that’s not a sign the world is up in flames, I don’t know what is. We now live in an era where, if Khloé goes to jail, Kim would be a supportive sister. What fresh hell is this?
Kim dropped this bombshell while playing a game of “Would You Rather?” with, ironically, Khloé. When Khloé asked Kim to choose between never posting a selfie again or never Snapchatting again, she (blasphemously) picked the former.
“I would rather never be able to post a selfie again. Take a selfie,” Kim, who once went out of her way to vogue behind a stranger’s selfie, said. “I kinda feel like selfies are kind of a few years ago.”
A few years ago? Then what is now, Kim? How are we supposed to express our love for Fit Tea, large salads, and Balmain’s siiiiiick new collection in 2017?
Kim’s Instagram profile has the answer. True to her sacrilegious words, she hasn’t posted a selfie in a while. Her immediate feed is just a bunch of well-staged photos taken by other people. So is that what’s now? Asking someone to take our Instagram photos? Hiring a Jonathan Cheban clone to follow us around everywhere (the grocery store, the club, Kylie’s Lip Kit factory), feverishly take photos of us, and then picking the best ones? I now have to bring other people into my Valencia-tinted orbit? Actually, wait, I’m sure the Valencia Instagram filter is “kind of a few years ago,” too.
It’s official, people: The Internet is canceled. This GIF is a lie.
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