Earlier this year, Jenna Dewan and Channing Tatum “lovingly decided” to separate as a couple after nearly nine years of marriage, saying in a joint statement they’ll continue to love and respect each other as “best friends.” And indeed, their conscious uncoupling status has been anything but messy, with the duo, who share a young daughter, Everly. They consistently appear on each other’s social media pages in cute family photos or videos. Despite the lack of animosity between the couple, though, Dewan admits that, at times, it can still be difficult to go through divorce in the critical lens of the public eye.

“It’s been a journey, and it’s been a transformation of myself — my needs and wants as a woman. I think everyone wants to hold on to what’s in front of them, but when you open your mind, saying, ‘I want what’s best for myself and my daughter,’ you have to be okay with however that looks,” Dewan explained about her divorce in her new cover story for Women’s Health. “I feel I’ve been on a wave of growth. It does look different; it’s a new normal, and I really think we’ll get used to that. It’s always challenging to go through a big change and have the whole world have an opinion about it.”

From Jenna Dewan’s perspective, viewing her separation as less of an “ending” and more as an “evolution” is what keeps her from taking on a more pessimistic head space. “It’s okay for a relationship to change into a new form that is actually better for both people involved, and I think that’s maybe what shocked everyone so much — that it can be a positive thing,” she explained. “That was ultimately what happened with us.”

And really, she said, her healing just came from within herself: “It was always, ‘I’m a dancer,’ or ‘I’m married,’ or ‘I’m an actress.’ Over the last couple of years, it became about learning about myself,” she said.

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