Red lipstick has pretty much been my thing since high school. I couldn’t tell you precisely why or when that happened—it’s always represented my most authentic self. It makes me feel like me. And really, isn’t that what’s so empowering about makeup?

Of course, not everyone feels this way. I think there’s a false tension between beauty and feminism. That’s partly because most things that are coded as female are dismissed as frivolous or lacking value. I, however, refuse to believe that. So much of what girls and women are taught about our bodies and the way we look is a reflection of the male gaze. But it’s up to every individual to wade through what that connection—how they feel and look to the world—means for them.

For me, that means being critical of my own instincts and asking, Am I attracted to this because I truly love it, or am I trying to please somebody else? My husband claims that I’m the most beautiful when I’m not wearing a stitch of makeup. That just goes to show that, as much as I love him, I really do wear my red lipstick for me. And that choice is extremely validating.

What I also love about a red lip: There’s something profoundly unifying about how it works on everyone; we can all enjoy how it makes us look and feel together. A perfect example: At the Women’s March in 2017, many of the organizers turned up in Washington at 3:00 A.M. with full makeup, red lipstick included. By the end of the night, after we all marveled in the glorious day, we also marveled at how many of us were (a) still looking fresh 16-plus hours later and (b) wearing MAC Ruby Woo. We were all from different walks of life, with different skin tones, but that red was universal.

My one hang-up with wearing red is that line you can get across the middle of your lips as your lipstick wears. But I have a trick for that: I use a lip stain on the inside of my lips before applying lipstick so there’s no detectable line as the color wears. To make a serious lip last, I alternate between applying thin coats of lipstick and blotting for several rounds. If my lips are feeling dry, I put a coat of Sephora Cream Lip Stain Liquid Lipstick in Flame Red on top.

And while a red lip is my signature, there are plenty of times—say, when I’m out with my kids in the morning, makeup-free—that I feel just as good without it. Whether you’re wearing your “thing” or not shouldn’t determine how you feel about yourself. It should simply be a tool to make you feel like you are on fire.

Watch our tribute to the Women’s March organizers, Glamour‘s 2017 Women of the Year:

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