The Overwhelming Aggravation of Shopping with ADHD
According to Hayes, that sort of hyper-focus is reflected in the brain. “It’s like the bit that’s responsible for getting your attention onto a task and switching your attention onto the next task is slow to start working, but once it starts working, it’s hard to get it to stop,” she says. Also, people with ADHD are less sensitive to dopamine (the neurotransmitter that helps us feel pleasure), so some tend to do things that might be risky or excessive — say, buying a pricey item they can’t stop thinking about — in order to boost its production. “If we’re hyper-focused on something, we get more dopamine, and it predicts we’re going to get a massive payoff,” says Hayes.
Many people with ADHD create systems to keep their spending in check when their impulsivity gets out of hand or their minds feel one-track. McQuiston, for instance, allows herself the occasional cheap impulse buy but waits six months before purchasing big items. “And that’s how I have no tattoos I regret,” she says with a laugh.
Here, McQuiston and other women with ADHD share more shopping and dressing tips for those who have the condition.
Work with your brain, not against it
“If you’re trying to force yourself to work in neurotypical ways, it’s not going to work for you,” says McQuiston. “You’re going to get so mad at yourself every time you mess it up — which you’re inevitably going to do, because our brains just don’t work that way.”
For freelance writer Kathleen Walsh, that means cutting uncomfortable tags out of clothing and avoiding dangly jewelry, but also buying oversized items for the purpose of keeping herself focused at work. “I sit with an enormous sweater draped over my head in order to restrict my field of vision so I don’t get distracted by surrounding activity,” she explains. “It’s weirdly effective and nobody cares if you look a little nuts.”
Learn what items are off-limits
While you might be drawn to the same types of clothing as everyone else, it’s crucial to know what pieces are just not going to work for you. “I can’t purchase ripped jeans because I will pick at them until it destroys the fabric, and I’ve lost more expensive pairs of sunglasses than I can count,” says Emma Metzler, a college junior who, in late 2019, started a Reddit thread asking for fashion advice from people with ADHD or similar sensory issues that’s gotten hundreds of responses. As a result, she tends to keep her outfits “simple and functional,” forgoing most accessories, distressed fabrics, and bright colors (“they make me feel jittery in the worst way possible”). “By sticking to things in more muted or basic colors,” Metzler adds, “more things match — less decision making.”
Use your phone as an ally, but know when to put it down
Many people with ADHD, says McQuiston, tend to be bad at record-keeping and impulse control, “so I would advise people to download some [budgeting] apps and use your Google calendar as much as you can.” Apps like Mint and PocketGuard can help you keep track of your spending and save up for bigger purchases if you’re worried you can’t be trusted to put the money away yourself.
On the other hand, it’s important to know when your phone’s exacerbating the issues caused by your ADHD, such as distracting you while you’re browsing a store’s aisles. “I’ll turn off my phone If I’m really on a mission and I want to not be there all day,” says Kessler.
Organization is everything
Regularly going through your closet and decluttering can be a major help, especially when it comes to finding clothing easily and knowing what new items you truly can use. “It made such a huge difference in my life when I got rid of all the things I didn’t need,” says Metzler, noting that she uses professional organizer Marie Kondo’s KonMari method when her drawers start to overflow.
Walsh, meanwhile, keeps her belongings in “giant bags” so nothing gets lost, while Kessler pre-selects her outfits for the mornings so she doesn’t waste time getting out the door.
Don’t be ashamed of your style, whatever it is
So what if you have to wear noise-canceling headphones while shopping to stay focused or cut out some tags before putting a new item on? Wearing an outfit you feel good in, regardless of what changes you might’ve had to make to it to appease your ADHD, is “such a big confidence boost,” says Metzler.
“Yeah, [ADHD] has definitely got its challenges, and sometimes they manifest in clothing,” she adds. “But I’ve learned, through lots of trial and error, how to use it to my advantage — and now, I love that part of myself.”