To say Meghan Markle has had a rough go in the British press since her relationship with Prince Harry went public would be a bit of an understatement. But it’s been especially rough in the past year during her pregnancy and the birth of baby Archie. If she was still a regular celebrity and actor, we probably would have seen a sit-down interview with her, a la a classic Barbara Walters special, where she revealed the toll it’s taken on her.

But such is not the way with the British royal family—usually. But as we’ve all seen, Markle and Prince Harry are doing things their own way—from the way they introduced Archie to the world to their social media style. Now, a new documentary filmed during their recent royal tour in southern Africa is apparently about to shed a lot of light on some of their most private struggles.

In a teaser clip released by ITV, Markle opens up about her feelings when director Tom Bradtby asks her about her own physical and mental health amidst all the press coverage and pressure. “I would say…look, any woman, especially when they’re pregnant, you’re really vulnerable,” she says. “So that was made really challenging. And then when you have a newborn, you know?”

“And especially as a woman, it’s really, it’s a lot. So, if you add this on top of just trying to be a new mom or trying to be a newlywed, it’s um…Yeah, well, I guess, and also thank you for asking because not many people have asked if I’m okay. But it’s a very real thing to be going through behind the scenes.”

Watch the clip for yourself. Frankly, it’s heartbreaking.

Of course, there are many glamorous things that we all imagine come along with being a royal—but there’s also so much baggage that I don’t know that I’d ever want, and this clip illustrates some of that. Harry also opens up about how every camera click reminds him of the worst parts of his mother, Princess Diana’s life.

I can’t wait to see what else is revealed in the special, along with the happy and joyful moments of the tour—and hopefully more clips of Archie.

Harry & Meghan: An African Journey premieres Sunday night in the U.K. and will air on ABC on October 23 at 10 PM

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