As the years went by and we kept pushing to get this movie made, we entered the “otherhood” age group ourselves. That’s when, finally, Netflix rescued us. The movie business had come of age and realized that the majority of the marketplace is female. Hallelujah. We got a green light, put the film together, and made a movie that stands for something. It’s a movie for anyone who has ever been or wants to be or has had a mother.

Looking back at the process of making this movie, it’s clear to me now that I’m essentially trying to show the world the second stage in a woman’s life can be extraordinary. In my younger years, I felt like I had to “find” things all the time. Find a direction, find a school, find a career, find a mate. Growing up in the ’70s and ’80s, life was all about the vision quest. Vision boards, visualize your future, make it happen! I sought validation and felt I had to prove myself. I was trying to answer the question, “What will I get, personally and professionally, from literally everything?” Vision boards have now been replaced by social media influencers, but the impulses haven’t changed for many young women. There’s an even higher expectation to find purpose today. We, the generation of glass ceiling breakers, tell future generations, “Go get what we made possible for you!”

I happen to be on the “otherhood” cusp: My only child leaves for her first year in college in 23 days and 11 hours (but who’s counting?). Everything is a question for her: roommates, leaving home, being a freshman again, choosing a major…. She’s asking herself, “How can I control the outcome of all this?” Yesterday, I had an out-of-body experience as I heard myself tell her, “Honey, no one can control the outcome.” I recognized in that moment that wisdom is the first gift of “otherhood.” What a relief it is to have lived long enough to find peace in the idea that one can lay back and let it all happen, because it’s going to happen anyway and it will happen for a reason.

The second gift of “otherhood” is enjoyment. The first half of my life was all about doing things. These “otherhood” years are about feeling them. Don’t get me wrong: I’m doing stuff all day long. But the hysteria has lifted. I finally feel like, “I’ve got this.” Now I want to feel it. I want to feel what it’s like to make a movie with extraordinary female partners, artists, and actors. I want to laugh and feel joy as I watch the finished product. I know I can’t control how the film will perform, but I can enjoy the process.

Cathy Schulman is a producer on Otherhood, now streaming on Netflix.

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