Sex Dust also contains organic epimedium, AKA horny goat weed, the hilariously-named herb available in pill form that Bacon says “has been used for thousands of years to help balance hormones and bring warmth to the pelvic region.” Lusty!

So what exactly do you do with this suff? Bacon is a former chef, so Moon Juice’s site helpfully contains tons of recipes for making Sex Dust snacks (which I can only assume would make you the office hero). Being a low-maintenance (read: lazy) gal, I mixed a teaspoon into my morning coffee. It mixed pretty well and gave my coffee a toasty, slightly sweet chocolate flavor, with a mushroom-y musk to it. It was surprisingly pleasant.

A few sips in and I was no glowing Aphrodite. What gives?! But a couple hours later, I realized a proposal for a big copywriting project I was working on was suddenly flowing weirdly well. I sped on from that to phone interviews with potential assistants for my startup, a task I’d usually find draining as an introvert, but which left me oddly energized.

Now normally, after crossing two entire things off my to-do list, I’d treat myself to a “deserved” hour of aimless reading on the internet, or an Instagram hole, or honestly, I might just say “effit” and log off for the day. (Gotta love that freelance life.) Instead, I felt inspired to work on the creative direction for an upcoming photoshoot I’m producing. “I’M SCARED OF YOU,” my business partner texted me when I emailed her a meticulously-organized mood board, shot list, call sheet, and schedule at 2 a.m.

I went to bed that night after a 14-hour work day, feeling like I could have gone longer. Whomst am I, I wondered? Was it the Sex Dust igniting my creative energy?

For the next couple days, I downed Sex Dust coffee each morning, and worked more bizarrely productive 12- to 16-hour days, crossing a ton of crap off my permanently anxiety-inducing to-do list. As someone who is super-easily overwhelmed and would rather be napping at all times, I cannot stress how unusual it is for me to achieve this level of productivity at all, much less multiple days in a row.

By day four, I was thoroughly spooked by the unusual burst of focus and productivity I’d experienced—but below-the-brain benefits were harder to sense. I’d definitely noticed my mood felt lighter—perhaps the result of the cacao, which Bacon says “releases endorphins.” But I felt no libidinous effects, nor the “pelvic warming” or “juiciness” I’d been promised. So I decided to take the Sex Dust on the road, meeting up with a friend to go to on what she calls a “cutie run”—dinner and a trip to the bar to chill, look cute, dance, and maybe meet boys.

About an hour into our cutie run, she turned to me in frustration: “I feel invisible—like all the guys are smiling at you!” she yelled over the music. Not gonna lie, I noticed it too. The horny goat weed must be working! Of course it wasn’t every dude. But it definitely felt like people were, to put it scientifically, digging my vibe. Our waitress was unusually friendly. One guy waved from across the room. Another made a lame excuse to talk to me in the bathroom line. On the street, another literally said: “You’re nice, I like you.”

Of course, I can’t say for sure if my renewed mojo was the Sex Dust, or some other factor. Was I just in a good mood? Excited to see my friend? Were all the men on the Lower East Side slipped $20 and told to flirt with me? We may never know.

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