For more than two years, Brittany Pidgeon believed her six-month old son died from medical complications.
Two weeks ago, Pidgeon learned her babysitter was wanted for second degree murder in the death her son, Phoenix Jones-Pidgeon in 2016.
“When [the detective] told me, I just broke out in tears and pretty much was going crazy, crying, not knowing what I was going to do with myself,” she said.
“All I remember saying is, ‘You better find him before I do.’ “
Edmonton homicide detectives issued a Canada-wide warrant for Darren James Gagnon, 29, on Feb. 15. Six days later, he turned himself in at the RCMP detachment in Grand Forks, B.C., police said in a news release Tuesday.
“He was just a friend, someone I knew through mutual people, someone I thought that I could trust,” Pidgeon told CBC News.
Pidgeon and Gagnon met through a mutual friend six years ago, she said. He had been babysitting Phoenix regularly for nearly two months before the morning of July 5, 2016.
A couple of hours after Pidgeon left for work that morning, she sent Gagnon a text and asked about Phoenix.
“His response was, he’s not breathing,” she said.
She called emergency services and met the ambulance at the Stollery Children’s Hospital. Doctors told her Phoenix had to undergo surgery to drain blood pooling under the skin at the top of his head. There were no marks on his body, she said.
Phoenix died on July 7, after spending two days on life support.
“It destroyed me — emotionally, physically. I’m pretty messed up from it,” Pidgeon said.
Pictures of Phoenix Jones-Pidgeon, who died at the age of six-months in July 2016. (Peter Evans/CBC)
The infant’s injuries were consistent with head trauma, police said in the release.
But Pidgeon said she was never told why her baby died, and for two years she believed it was a medical complication.
She said she only saw Gagnon once after Phoenix died, when he came by the house to pick up some of his things.
“He didn’t go to the hospital, didn’t do nothing. He didn’t ask about the funeral,” Pidgeon said.
‘He’s still with me’
Pidgeon keeps her son’s ashes on the shelf in her living room, alongside photo albums of his abbreviated life.
“He’s still with me every day,” she said, wearing a sweatshirt with a photo of Phoenix printed on the front.
“I can’t walk around with a picture of him in my hand all the time, so I can wear it and be the face of him at least.”
Brittany Pidgeon got a tattoo of her son’s birth date on her neck. Six months later, she tattooed the outline of an infant-sized palm on her forearm with the date of his death. (Peter Evans/CBC)
Pidgeon moved out of the house where Phoenix died in January 2018, but the memories followed.
“Everywhere in the city is a constant reminder because I used to take him a lot of places,” she said.
“I haven’t washed any of his clothes. It still smells like him. I find myself sniffing them just to have the scent of him again.”
When Phoenix was born, Pidgeon had her son’s birth date tattooed on her neck. Six months later, she added the outline of an infant-sized palm on her forearm with the date of his death.
‘My whole world just crashed again’
Pidgeon said she was diagnosed with post traumatic stress disorder, depression and anxiety after Phoenix died.
In the past eight months, she was beginning to piece her life back together. She started a new job, started dating and moved into a new house.
It destroyed me — emotionally, physically. I’m pretty messed up from it.– Brittany Pidgeon
Then, on Feb 14, Pidgeon learned police were charging Gagnon with second-degree murder.
“My whole world just crashed again,” she said. “I’ve been to the point where I just lay in my room and cry or go for a drive and cry.”
She’s felt numb over the past two weeks, caught in a cycle of pain, denial and anger, Pidgeon said.
“I don’t want to believe someone could do something like that to my son.”
She will be in court every day of the trial. Pidgeon said. At this point, it’s the only way she can learn what happened to her son since police won’t tell her anything until the trial is over, she added.
Gagnon appeared in court Wednesday. His next appearance has been set for March 20.
“Hopefully justice is served and my family and I can have a chance to heal,” Pidgeon said.