Yes, we all know that Carrie ends up with Mr. Big, as the Sex and the City movie and its dire sequel made abundantly clear, but are we really happy about it? I mean, yes, the man is rich and likes to go to Paris and bought her a penthouse apartment with a closet clothing room—but he’s also a jerk who chickened out on their wedding day, has a pattern of gas-lighting her feelings when she’s upset, has cheated on a partner (with Carrie, but that’s still quite naughty), and bought her said penthouse without consulting her first. She’s a successful columnist who has an overstuffed wardrobe of designer couture—is a little partnership in buying a place to live too much to ask of a movie released in 2008? Is it too much to question if a hot fling during her ruined-Mexican-honeymoon-turned-girls-trip was what Carrie really needed instead?

I couldn’t help but wonder if all of us really felt the same sense of closure that Carrie did when Big finally met her at the City Hall altar at the end of the film. Or were we all silent Charlottes when he first left her at her society wedding?

Glamour called it waaaay back in 2008. “If I were her friend, I would say, ‘Run for the hills.’ That, or, ‘Marry Aidan,'” Joanna Goddard wrote, two months after the Sex and the City movie was released—proving that even after the credits rolled, some of us weren’t swayed by this supposedly happy ending. And neither was Carrie herself, apparently—she’d go on to kiss Aidan in Abu Dhabi, where all of us encounter former lovers, in 2010’s Sex and the City 2.

A decade of lingering resentment on, and it’s not just me that’s still questioning it: Sex and the City creator Candace Bushnell has addressed the issue a few times this year—even going so far as to admit that, IRL, Carrie and Big probably would have called it quits.

But there’s one reason that wasn’t revealed until Friday night. Bushnell told Us Weekly that there was a surprising driving force behind the resolution: her mother.

PHOTO: Giphy

“My mother always hated Aidan, for some reason, so I could never really be team Aidan,” Bushnell told Us Weekly. “Whenever I would go home and visit my parents, my mother would say, ‘Why is Carrie with Aidan and not Mr. Big? You’ve got to get rid of Aidan.'”

“My mother never felt that Aidan was the right person for Carrie,” Bushnell continued, as we read and wept. “So I felt obligated to take her side.”

Ugh, Mommmmmmmmm.

Related Stories:
–The ‘Sex and the City’ Author Hated Carrie and Big Together as Much as You Did
–You’ll Never Guess Who the Creator of ‘Sex and the City’ Says Almost Played Mr. Big

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