The
central premise behind the new Adam Sandler comedy “Pixels” is so
undeniably promising on its most basic level that as I walked into the
screening, I felt a genuine anticipation that I cannot easily recall ever feeling in
conjunction with one of his films, at least of those cranked out by his Happy
Madison production company. Unfortunately, a good premise can only take a film so far if it
has been accompanied by abysmal execution.
Oh, “Pixels” does have a couple of laughs scattered here and there, and the film as a
whole is certainly better than such recent Sandler disasters as “That’s My
Boy,” “Blended” and the truly inexplicable “The
Cobbler,” but when one considers how good this material might have been if
placed in the right hands, to see it squandered this way makes it almost more
painful to view than the typical Sandler stinker.
The conceit
here is that back in 1982, NASA launched into orbit a capsule that contained
numerous examples of our then-contemporary popular culture as a way of reaching
out to possible alien life forms that might be curious to know about that thing
that we on Earth called “The Pirate Movie,” including a cassette
chronicling a video game championship featuring young arcade masters showing
their skills at the top games of the era. Unfortunately, a hostile alien force
intercepts the tape, determines its contents to be an act of war, and begins
sending down large and malevolent versions of the characters from those games
to attack Earth as a response to the alleged challenge with the fate of the
planet hanging in the balance. The spaceships from “Galaga” rain
pixilated horror in Peru, a “Centipede” games breaks out over
London’s Hyde Park and the grid-like layout of New York City sets the scene for
what proves to be the world’s largest Pac-Man game.
Drastic
times call for drastic measures and so the President (Kevin James) hits upon the idea of bringing in old school gamers to advise on
how to stop the invading forces. Luckily, his childhood best friend, Sam
Brenner (Sandler), was a young gaming prodigy back in the day until his life
was ruined after losing that aforementioned championship when he placed second
at Donkey Kong. He is joined by Ludlow (Josh Gad), another participant in that
competition who has become a paranoid conspiracy buff (he is convinced JFK
fired first, chuckle chuckle) with an unhealthy obsession towards Lady Lisa,
the scantily-clad heroine of “Dojo Girl.” (This game does not
actually exist but as those scoring at home will quickly discover,
verisimilitude is not exactly the film’s strong point) Overblown egomaniac
Eddie “The Fireblaster” Plant (Peter Dinklage)—who beat Sam at that
fateful Donkey Kong game—signs on as well but carries a shocking secret that
could lead to the destruction of the world. Finally, in a small concession that
women also play games as well, the guys are joined by Lt. Col. Violent Van
Patten (Michelle Monaghan), a brilliant specialist who creates the weird
weaponry to be used against the invaders. (Of course, she is just a girl in a
movie aimed at adolescent boys so her signature moves include zapping a Smurf
and downing Chardonnay while sobbing about her romantic troubles at length to
the guy who has arrived to install her flat-screen TV.)
Like I
said, the premise of “Pixels” (which was inspired by a 2010 short) is sound, and in a
perfect world, it could have been the hi-tech hybrid of “The Last
Starfighter” and “Ghostbusters” that it clearly wants to be.
Indeed, there are moments when the sight of giant-sized arcade icons wreaking
havoc do have a certain grandeur to them, even if their overexposure in the
coming attractions previews has inevitably reduced much of their immediate
impact. Alas, while the technologies used to bring these characters from their
8-bit origins to the CGI world are as state-of-the-art as can be, the
screenplay is closer to “Oregon Trail” by comparison. Instead of
taking the time to really hash out the concept,
co-writers and frequent Sandler collaborators Tim Herlihy and Timothy Dowling have essentially shunted it to the side in
order to make room for the usual nonsense: people acting like idiots for no
apparent reason, an attitude towards women that should appeal to those
Gamergate oafs, cameo appearances from Sandler’s buddies and the usual bits of
gross-out humor. (You’ll believe a Q*Bert can whiz!)
Although
I can’t help but wonder what someone like Joe Dante, an excellent filmmaker
with a genuine interest in the perils and pleasures of American popular
culture, might have done with this concept, Chris Columbus, the guy behind
“Home Alone,” “Mrs. Doubtfire” and the first two
“Harry Potter” joints, does what he can with the material, but while
some of the big special effects set-pieces are nicely put together, he seems as
bored directing all the stuff in between as viewers will be watching it. On the
other side of the camera, Sandler and James simply bounce from scene to scene
delivering their shopworn material with such little effort that they somehow
seem less substantial than the pixelated creatures they are battling, Monaghan
is thoroughly wasted in a role that doesn’t even begin to hint at the talents
that she has displayed in the past in such things as the little-seen drama
“Trucker” and the first season of “True Detective,” and Josh
Gad continues his campaign to become the single most obnoxious performer to
grace movie screens in our time. On the other hand, Peter Dinklage does wind up
scoring the lion’s share of the laughs here with a swaggeringly silly turn that
has clearly been inspired by Billy Mitchell, the obnoxious real-life gaming
champion who was the subject of the documentary “The King of Kong.”
Viewers of a certain age may look
at “Pixels” with a degree of nostalgia, although it stands to reason that if you are
old enough to feel nostalgic about playing “Donkey Kong” in the
arcade, you are probably too old for an Adam Sandler film. However, when you consider
how good it could have been and should have been, it has to go down as one of
the season’s bigger disappointments in the way that it quickly gives up the
ghost(s). On the bright side, Hollywood is remaking films so quickly these days
that it is only a matter of time before they get to doing this one again.
Source:: http://www.rogerebert.com/reviews/pixels-2015
