In Honor of Sarah Jessica Parker’s 50th Birthday, Here Are Carrie Bradshaw’s Most Ridiculous Quotes

Cyber Monday, Sarah Jessica Parker


Carrie Bradshaw: The face that launched 1,000 away messages and Twitter bios. 

Today is the 50th birthday of her real life alter ego Sarah Jessica Parker, so we celebrating by honoring all the times Carrie was totally and completely outrageous. Yes, admit it, for all the occasions when Carrie made us feel inspired about love, careers, friendships and fashion, she also sometimes made us want to throw something at the TV. Her musings on life could be so self-serving, and don’t even get us started on her “column.” We get it, you couldn’t help but wonder. 

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So, in the interest of driving ourselves crazy, we’re taking a look back at all the things Carrie said that forced us not to help but wonder why we’re watching the Post-It episode for the tenth time. Or why we’re still friends with that girl who posts Instagrams with the caption “Some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.”

“I like my money where I can see it – hanging in my closet.”

“I’m not even sure bisexuality exists. I think it’s just a layover on the way to Gay Town.”

“I couldn’t help but wonder…can you get to a future if your past is present?”

“Maybe the past is like an anchor holding us back.”

“Maybe our mistakes are what make our fate.”

“Some people refuse to settle for anything less than butterflies.”

“Why does one minus a plus one feel like it adds up to zero?”

“When I first moved to New York and I was totally broke, sometimes I would buy Vogue instead of dinner. I felt it fed me more.”

“Women come to New York for the two L’s: Labels and Love.”

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“I couldn’t help but wonder…are men just women with balls?”

“I’ve spent $40,000 on shoes and I have no place to live?”

“Maybe some women aren’t meant to be tamed. Maybe they just need to run free until they find someone just as wild to run with them.”

“Do you know what the odds of catching a fly ball are? I didn’t. I couldn’t help wondering if they were any higher … than finding a relationship that would last.”

“Are we faking more than orgasms? 

“I couldn’t help but wonder…Can you be friends with an ex?”

“I couldn’t help but wonder…what comes first, the chicken or the sex?”

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