If you read our ranking of all the songs from Taylor Swift‘s insanely-successful album 1989, you already know that we put her new single, “Blank Space,” in the number one spot. We love it so much because she took her public image as some crazy, obsessive girlfriend and had some fun with it. OK, she had a lot of fun with it. That pen click sound effect? Forget about it.
And in the video for “Blank Space,” she takes that image of her as the one scaring off all the men and runs with it. Really runs with it. Like, 26.2 miles runs with it. And we love every ridiculous moment of it.
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Here are the 16 moments from the video that will make us forever fear the (pretend) wrath of Swifty:
1. When she asked if we wanted to play with that mischievous look in her eye.
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And she looked so gorgeous that we were like, “hell, yeah!”
2. When she painted her boo’s portrait like it was a normal “getting to know you” activity. We don’t blame her; those cheekbones are begging to be captured via oil painting.
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And the look in her eye as she mouths our favorite line in the song (“I can make the bad guys good for a weekend”) gave us chills.
3. When she gives Sean the side-eye gaze as she talks about the relationship going down in flames.
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Sean’s face says: “I immediately regret this decision.” The dogs concur: “Get out now, bro.”
4. Does no one notice the portrait on the opposite wall has an ax in it?!
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If you squint at the guy in the mangled portrait hard enough, it kind of looks like John Mayer. Then again, if you squint at anything long enough, it will look like John Mayer.
5. When she hurt an innocent tree just so she could carve out Sean’s name in its flesh.
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QUIZ: Which Taylor Swift song best describes your life?
6. The look she gives Sean when he’s caught texting during their picture perfect picnic. PURE RAGE.
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The real question is: what kind of emojis was he using? If it was that damn salsa dancer in the red dress, then you definitely should be suspicious, Tay.
7. The claw hand.
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Followed by the push.
8. When she takes those claw hands and sinks her nails into Sean’s face.
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9. When she forces Sean to put his phone in a bag of rice because she dropped it in the fountain.
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Also, Taylor only cries while in the company of a single, glorious deer.
10. The last face you see before death, probably.
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11. When she went all Mean Girls on Sean’s shirts.
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Jokes on her because he’s totally going to start a trend among other dudes.
12. When she performs voodoo rituals on an apple.
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13. There is only one thing worse than smashing up such a beautiful car…
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14. …wasting a perfectly delicious cake! Damn it, Taylor!
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15. When she ends the affair with a creepy tree dance and a lip bite.
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That horse is judging her so hard right now.
16. To the left, to the left Sean. Don’t you know you’re not irreplaceable?
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She’s got a new man to terrorize. WINK.
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