In Greek
mythology, Heracles was the product of Zeus getting his Mt. Olympus freak on with a mortal woman. Heracles was
named to honor his philandering daddy’s angry wife, Hera, but her vengeance had
dire consequences for the future hero. Hera drove him insane, at which point
Heracles murdered his wife and children. After regaining his sanity and
realizing the horrible nature of his crime, Heracles accepts as penance the
famous labors most of us know about from high school English class. These
included defeating the Nemean Lion, the hydra and the Erymanthian boar.
This was the
legend I expected from Brett Ratner’s “Hercules.” Instead, I and the 12 other
people who showed up for last night’s screening were treated to yet another
comic book adaptation by studios desperate to hang on to its stereotypical core
market of men in states of arrested development. I know nothing about the Radical
Comics series upon which this is based, but I sincerely hope it is not the half-assed,
warmed over “300” rip-off its cinematic counterpart is. Watching “Hercules,”
you can feel your intelligence being insulted in almost every frame.
Shorn of the
graphic violence and blatant homoeroticism that made “300” gore-soaked camp,
the PG-13 rated “Hercules” is left with poorly rendered CGI battles and a fear
of …read more