shots/instagram
Call them famous last words.
When news broke this morning of Justin Bieber‘s impending Comedy Central roast, the singer tweeted: “For years I have wanted Comedy Central to roast me. They said only if I provided them w/ more material so for a year now I have worked hard.” Truer words may have never been spoken, and come springtime we’re pretty sure Bieber’s going to regret them.
When a celeb steps into the roasting hot seat, pretty much nothing is off-limits. And luckily for audiences, the Biebs seems to have devoted the past year of his life solely to committing a record number of embarrassing/heinous/all-around shameful acts.
NEWS: Justin Bieber is getting a Comedy Central roast
At times he’s behaved so ridiculously that the only plausible explanation is said impending roast. The guy’s Instagram feed alone would provide enough fodder for hours of roasty crudeness.
There isn’t enough time in the world for us to list all of our favorite Justin moments, but below are the top 10 Bieber-isms that we hope to hear about during the big event (in no particular order).
Felix Hörhager/picture-alliance/dpa/AP Images
1. That Time He Got a Monkey and Turned All of Germany Against Him: Leave it to Biebs to have the weirdest impulse purchase of 2013: a Capuchin monkey. Actually, make that a Capuchin monkey with no papers, presumably no proper caretaking and a very un-monkey-like life on a concert tour.
Splash News
2. That Time He Smoked Out His Plane: Pretty much anything goes on a private jet, but a pretty good rule of thumb is that you should never get your flight crew stoned against their will. Smoking so much weed that your pilots (allegedly) require gas masks is probably not the best safety precaution.
Instagram
3. Every Time He Went Hiking in the Most Inappropriate Outfit: Yo bro, pilgrim hats and sweat do not a good match make.
Stoianov/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES; Getty Images
4. That Time He Dyed His Hair Platinum: OK, so it doesn’t actually look that bad. But there’s still some really great joke potential with this.
NEWS: Justin Bieber offered $2 million to do gay porn
Instagram
5. Every Time He Posted a Private-Jet Pic: Lest anyone mistake him for flying commercial like a plebeian.
Miami Beach Police Department
6. Egg-Gate 2014: If you’re old enough to own a house, you’re too old to egg somebody else’s.
Premiere/FAMEFLYNET PICTURES
7. That Time He Became the Neighborhood Street Terror: Revving your engine and speeding your sports cars along a residential street? Bad. Speeding your sports cars along a residential street when ex-NFL star Keyshawn Johnson is your neighbor? Very bad.
Mert Alas and Marcus Piggott
8. Crotch-Gate 2014: Whether or not Justin Bieber stuffed his crotch for his Calvin Klein underwear ads remains one of the biggest mysteries of our lives. We won’t rest until we know the true source of that bulge.
Mariotto/INFphoto.com
9. All of His Car Troubles: He crashed an ATV, he drag-raced while drunk, we could go on and on.
Theo Wargo/Getty Images for Three Lions Entertainment
10. That Time He Turned a Charity Fundraiser Into a Strip Show: And was subsequently booed by every attendee at the Fashion Rocks event.
PHOTOS: Justin Bieber’s best Instagrams and twitpics
RELATED VIDEOS:
