Sexting example: “Tell me how the sound of my voice makes you feel.”
12. Make up a scenario.
Although creativity does score points when it comes to sexting, making up a scenario doesn’t have to be complicated, according to Stubbs. Even tossing out there the possibility of you just showing up at their house as a surprise can feel exciting.
Sexting example: “What would you do if I showed up at your house in nothing but a trench coat right now?”
13. Realize this could be practice for the real deal.
If you’re sexting with someone you’ve recently met on an app but haven’t been able to meet IRL, you could be practicing for the real deal—if you do want to meet after all this. This practice allows you to know each other intimately before that first, potentially awkward date.
Sexting example: “I guess if dinner and drinks feels awkward, we already know what we want in bed. Tell me again what you’ll do to me first?”
14. Take turns being the narrator.
“At its most basic, there are two central roles that you can take while talking dirty: the director and the narrator,” says Corrado. “The director is someone who is doing the telling, while the narrator is describing what is happening around them.” One role might feel more comfortable to you and to your partner, so you just might fall into them naturally. But this doesn’t mean you can’t switch it up.
Example of director: “I want you to use your vibrator on your clit, but you can’t come until I say so.”
Example of narrator: “I love it when you tease me that way.”
15. Get creative with language.
Honestly, there’s only so many times you can say “pussy” or “cock” before it wears thin. That’s why, according to O’Reilly, creative language is a must. “Consider crafting your messages with broad and vivid vocabulary,” she says.
Sexting example: “I wish you were here to feel how wet my treasure trove is.”
16. Keep the conversation going.
There’s nothing worse than getting all hot and bothered and then there’s a lull. Like, WTF. “Engage and try not to be unresponsive during moments when the sexting is consistent,” Saynt says. “There’s nothing worse than someone losing interest or getting distracted on either side, so try to be there for your partner and be sure to call them out when they seem to not be there for you.”
Sexting example: “I’m not sure where you went, but if you haven’t come yet, let’s work on that together.”
17. Get all five senses involved.
“Your sexting partner isn’t there with you, so they only have your words (and their imagination) to figure out what’s going on,” Corrado says. “If you’re describing to them the ways that you’re touching yourself, make it a sensory experience.” According to Corrado, you want the person you’re sexting to feel like they’re right there, seeing, feeling, hearing, smelling, and tasting it all.
Sexting example: “The leather chair I’m sitting in feels so good on my skin right now.”
It’s exhausting always being the same person, isn’t it? Stubbs suggests setting up a role-play situation. This is another place where you can let your mind run wild. Did you just receive a text from a stranger that must orgasm ASAP to save the planet?! It’s totally okay to be silly while sexting!
Sexting example: “You don’t know me, but I’m from Venus and I’ve been given your number to make you wetter than you’ve ever been before.”
19. Communicate what you want.
Unless your sexting partner is a mind reader—or you’ve been together that long, you’re going to have to communicate and maybe even steer the direction of the sexting. “Want your partner to engage in a little fantasy play? Looking to have them say dirty things to you? Communicate what you want and ask for all the naughty things you know you deserve,” Saynt says. “Most likely your partner will be down to comply with giving you exactly what you’re looking for.”